Friday, May 29, 2009

HOW DID GOOGLE GET LOGO FOR CHROME.....


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સોફ્ટવેર એન્જિનિયર્સને લાગુ પડતી કે સંબંધિત કહેવતો: (Gujarati Stuff for Software Engineer)


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- કોડ કરે તેનું CV વેચાય (બોલે તેનાં બોર વેચાય).

- જેવો પ્રોજેક્ટ, તેવો કોડ (જેવો દેશ, તેવો વેશ).

- પ્રોજેક્ટ મેનેજર કોડ કરે નહી ને, ડેવલોપરને શિખામણ આપે (ગાંડી સાસરે જાય નહી ને, ડાહ્યીને શિખામણ આપે).

- QA ને માથે કોડ (ગાંડીને માથે બેડું).

- પ્રોજેક્ટ મેનેજર કરતાં ડેવલોપર્સ ડાહ્યા (કુંભાર કરતાં ગધેડાં ડાહ્યા).

- કોણે કહ્યું હતું, બેટા, સોફ્ટવેર એન્જિનિયર બનજો? (કોણે કહ્યું હતું, બેટા, બાવળે ચડજો?).

- એક લાઇનની કોમેન્ટ માટે આખું સોફ્ટવેર કમ્પાઇલ કરવું (અડધા પાપડ માટે નાત જમાડવી).

- ડેવલોપર માત્ર બગને પાત્ર (માણસ માત્ર ભૂલને પાત્ર).

- સો દિવસ પ્રોજેક્ટ મેનેજરનાં, એક દિવસ ડેવલોપર્સનો (સો દાડા સાસુનાં, એક દાડો વહુનો).
પ્રોજેક્ટ ક્રેશનો ભોગ બનેલો કોમેન્ટ્સનું પણ બેકઅપ લે.
(દુધનો દાઝ્યો છાસ પણ ફુકી ફુકીને પીવે.)

એક્સેપ્શન કાઢતા બગ પેઠો.
(બકરુ કાઢતા ઉંટ પેઠુ)

ડેસ્કટોપ પર ફાઇલ ને સર્ચએન્જિનમાં શોધાશોધ.
(કેડમાં છોકરું ને ગામમાં ઢંઢેરો…પ્રેરણા - જુ.કિ. દાદા)

ઝાઝા પ્રોગ્રામર કોડ બગાડે.
(ઝાઝા રસોઇયા રસોઇ બગાડે)

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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Sant Joke : The watch has arrived


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Santa Singh's wife was expecting and the baby was due any day. Santa was very confident it would be a boy and was looking forward to the D-day. As fate would have it, he was transferred to another city and had to join office immediately. Before going, he asked his father-in-law to send a telegram confirming birth of his son. But in order to avoid giving party to his office colleagues, he asks his father-in-law to write "the watch has arrived" and he will understand that the son is born.

The D-day arrived. His wife delivered a cute little baby girl. Now Santa's father-in-law didn't know what to do.. If he writes "the watch has arrived" Santa will think he has got a Son. If he writes " watch has not arrived" Santa will get worried that something serious has happened.

But being a very intelligent person,he finds a solution and sends the telegram.

Santa received the telegram, opened it eagerly and reads "The watch has arrived, but the pendulum is missing".

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Sunday, May 24, 2009

Sardar Jokes - Have lot of fun


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------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Sardar Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala
Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi
Qun...
Qun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
-----------------------------------------------
Santa-Oye!what R U doing?
Banta-Recording this babys voice.
Santa-Why?
Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Wife: I hate the beggar who came yesterday!
Husband: Why??
Wife: I gave him food yesterday & today he gifted me a book"How to
Cook"!!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Santa ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi
To usne apne baap ki photo kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya
Aur Niche Likha
"COMING SOON" ...............

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Wht is similarity between Bill gates n me?
Don't know??
He never comes 2 my house and I never go 2 his house
EGO PROBLEMS U KNOW...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
A lawyer sent an overdue bill to a client with a note "This Bill is one
year old"
He got his bill bak with a note that read"Happy Birthday!"

--------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying
Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone
without receiver

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Ek Aadmi Kabar Pe Baitha Tha ..Musafir Ne Pucha, "Darr Nahi Lagta?"
Aadmi- "Darne Ki Kya Baat Hai , Andar Garmi Lag Rahi Thi Thodi Der Bahar
Aa Gaya."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Bin Laden's son was studing in an American school.
Teacher asked him, " I have 4 apples, how can I share it among 5
children"
He answerd, "KILL ONE"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Waiter gives bill to Sardar
Sardar: "Take my card."
Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card."
Sardar: "So what? U have writen outside
"ALL CARDS ACCEPTED"...

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Politician's drama


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Look at this mail of the week



Kaunaanidhii Fasting..(mfr. .)

First time in the world history fasting only 4 hours and that too with an AC
This is the comedy of the year 2009 Fasting starts after breakfast and ending before lunch. Interesting one!!

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Matrimonial ads version


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These are Girls profiles taken from a matrimonial website.

Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a Profile description as everything is straight from the heart!

Disclaimer: I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail...
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single I don't have male,If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home.
I am not a good education but I working all field in bangalore .. If u like me u welcome to my heart... When ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter..
Thanks
Yours Regards Sowmya ~*~
(Truly yours)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
I want very simple boy. From Brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework
(Wut Homework?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life.
I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love.
I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than I.
Because I love myself a lot.
If u think that is u then why to late come on ........hold my hand forever !!!
(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

I am simple girl.
I have lot of problemin my life because of my lucknow I am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot
(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

I want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast
(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL, WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.
I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD.
THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY
THEY ARE
1. THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.
2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION
3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.
(all of us are loughing {laughing})
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

Whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is too like this he would be called the man of the lamp
(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)
Infact she doesn ?t know wat she wants ?.. ? A LAMP ? ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

I love my patner I marriage the patner ok I search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok
(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering from "Ok-syndrome")
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

I am pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & mother sister completely married
(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married 'completely'?)
( Confused ????? )
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

My name is farhanbegum and I am unmarried.
Pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes
(height of desperation! J )
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

Iam kanandevi. I do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.
(No comments)
(Plz ? For gods sake ask somebody ?s help in framing sentence )
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

Hello I am a good charactarised woman.
I want to run my life happily.I divorced my first husband. His character is not good'. I expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ...
(but credit cards not accepted..?? ?)
(Perhaps Debit Cards accepted ?.. Clean Habit s??????? Is there anything like that.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. I like social service.
(Zebra..???)
(Gosh!!!!!!! ! She knows her heart color)

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Thursday, May 7, 2009

Sachin and Kambli - Togather


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Sachin Tendulkar and Vinod Kambli have been very close friends since childhood. They used to do all things together, e.g., both started going to school together, both passed their SSC exams together (with identical marks), both started playing cricket together, both were selected to the Bombay Ranji cricket team together, both went to college together, and both ended up joining the Indian cricket team together. Finally, both got engaged (to different girls) together and both decided to get married on the same day.

After that, both their wives get pregnant on the same day and the doctor gives the same delivery date for both. On the delivery date, Kambli's wife gives birth to a boy while Sachin's wife gives birth to twins! Kambli gets confused. He goes to Sachin and says, "How come? We have been doing the same things all our life. How come I get a son and you get twins?"

When Sachin replies, "Boost is the secret of my energy",

Dhoni appears behind them and adds, "Our energy".

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Sardar's Story with sex,religion,suspense and mystery


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Once there was a competition to write a shortest story which have
sex,religion,suspense and mystery.

Sardarji writes a shortest story :

"Oh God!My wife is going to deliver a child."

Then Sardar ji was asked to explain the story.

Sardar ji says

"oh god" here comes a religion."

" mY wife " here comes sex.

"child will be boy or girl" here comes suspense.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


Then he was asked where is
mystery?............... Who is Father?

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Few SMS Jokes and Fun


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Police arrested a drunkard & askd: Where r u going?

Man: I'm going 2 listen lecture on ill effects of drinking.

Cop: Who'll lecture at midnight ?

Man: My wife...

--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.

After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll
kill u.


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -


Man: Is there any way for long life?

Dr: Get married.

Man: Will it help?

Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -


What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win
in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?

Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -


Q: Why do women live longer than men?

A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?

If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -


So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a
building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -


Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the
crocodiles.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out,
cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.

2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -


Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what
will you pay me?

Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

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Scientists Playing Hide-n-Seek


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Once all the scientists met in a park.
They decide to play hide-n-seek.
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...
He is supposed to count up to 100...and then start searching...
Everyone starts hiding except Newton...
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein...
Einstein's counting......97, 98, and 99.....100....
He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front....
Einstein says "newton's out..newton's....out....."
Newton denies and says I am not out.
He claims that he is not Newton.
All the scientists come out and he convinces them that he is not Newton... how?

Newton says: I am standing on a square of area of 1 meter square .....
That means i am Newton per meter square......
Hence I am Pascal and not Newton....

This is just for fun and my sincere respect to all the Great Scientists.

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Some Funny Inspring thoughts


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1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!

Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!








2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like

Expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian. Think about it.









3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear,


But what we are inside .. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!








4. Don't walk as if you rule the world,

Walk as if you don't care who rules the world!

That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!








5. Every lady hopes, that her daughter will marry a better man than she did

And is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!








6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair.

When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.

They said, he who never lived, cannot die!







7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?

He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!









8. So many options for suicide: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, Jumping from a building, lying on train tracks,

But we chose Marriage, slow sure!








9. Only 20 percent boys have brains,
rest have girlfriends!








10. All desirable things in life are either Illegal, banned, expensive
or married to someone else!








11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru

We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi

Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di??? (which one you choose?)








12. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.

Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!

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