Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Only in Kerla

Share |

According to latest amended and implemented traffic rule….. the person sitting in the back seat of a two wheeler does not need to wear a Helmet... Strictly following the rules...

Share |

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Little Sumo Fighters

Share |

Share |

Friday, July 27, 2007

My Computer

Share |

My Computer [www.ritemail.blogspot.com]

My Computer [www.ritemail.blogspot.com]
My Computer [www.ritemail.blogspot.com]
My Computer [www.ritemail.blogspot.com]
My Computer [www.ritemail.blogspot.com]
My Computer [www.ritemail.blogspot.com]

Share |

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Fun Dum

Share |

Share |

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Some PJ's

Share |

Q: What did the lonely banana say?
A: I'm a"kela".

Q: What did the green peas say?
A: Nothing. They just "mutter"ed.

Q: What did the potato say when it answered the phone ?
A: "Aaloo?"

Q: Where do cauliflowers hang out?
A: In the Gobi desert.

Q: What did the flower say to its girl-friend?
A: Why do phools fall in love?

Q: What did the fat car say?
A: I'm a mota car.

Q: What did the confused egg say?
A: I don't unda-stand.

Q: Where do earrings go on holiday?
A: Bali

Q: What do shrimps sing on Christmas?
A: Jhinga Bells.

Q: What did the half eaten naan say?
A: I wish I was puri.

Q: What did the lonely potato sing?
A: "Aaloo lonesome tonight?"

Q: What language do carrots speak?
A: Gajar-ati.

Q: What do you call a bald poet?
A: Ik-bal.

Dis da funkiest...
Q: What did the first pizza slice say to the other pizza slice so it
would move?
A: Peeche - "HUT"

Share |

Funny Quotes

Share |

Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while
Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the
other is husband !
I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they
wanted cash
A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased
new school uniforms.
Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot
live without,,, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
You can't buy love . . . but you pay heavily for it
True friends stab you in the front
Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take
it anyway.
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with
Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with
the same person.
You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing
It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still
ends up with the same boss.
Early to bed,
early to rise,
your girl goes out
with other guys.
Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address
Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because
they have to say something
They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets
to speak

Share |

Something to Relax after the Long Hectic day........................

Share |

Naughty Jokes enjoy!

1. Signboard outside a prostitute's house: Married MEN not allowed.
We serve the needy, not the greedy...

2.Yesterday's news : An aunty was raped while jogging.
Today's news: More aunties found jogging.

3. How do Municipal Buses help in Family Planning?
By spreading the Message: KRIPYA PEECHHE SE CHADHIYE

4. Written on the T-Shirt of a girl:
SITUATORY WARNING: Objects inside the T-Shirt are larger than they
appear from outside.

5. Hindi class mein master ki pant ki zip khuli dekh Ladkiyan zor se
hasne lagi.
Masterji bole : Zyada he he ki to bahar nikaal kar khada kar doonga.

6. Santa was fondling a lady in a crowded bus.
Lady : Excuse me, aap achha nahi kar rahe hain!
Santa : Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta.

7. Santa and banta were caught raping a girl. They were called for
identification parade.
When the girl arrives, both Santa and Banta shout together: "Yahi thee,
Yahi thee"

8. Judge : Why do u want divorce?
Banta : She doesn't satisfy me in bed!
Preeto (Wife) : Tu yahan ka collector laga hai? Sari colony khush hai,
tumari agg nahin bujati.

9.Jeeto was going to Chandigarh for vacations. At the time of packing
Santa thinks: Kitni bholi hai, main saath nahin jaa raha phir bhi condom
saath le jaa rahi hai.

10. Pappu meets papa Santa on stairs of a KOTHA.
Pappu: Papa aap yahan kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: Yaar ab 200-300 rupaye ke peeche teri mummy ke nakhre nahi sahe

11. Santa: Murge kaise diye?
Vendor: Rs 50, Rs 40 n Rs 10
Santa: Rs 10, itna sasta kyon?
Vendor: Sir ise AIDS hai.
Santa: De do mujhe ... khana hai, rape thode hi karna hai!

12. Santa standing in balcony without shirt.
Banta, "Wah Santa ji kya chest hai.
Santa, "Eh tan kuch nahi andar ja ke apni BHABI KE dekh.

13. Santa runing after a Bus, catches it n asks the Driver:"Ye bus teri
lagti hai?"
Driver : Nahin.
Santa : To kya Behan lagti hai?
Driver : Nahin.
Santa : To phir chadne kyun nahin deta?

Share |

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Thinking out of BOX

Share |

Imagine this...

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's raining
heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people
waiting for a bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that
there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading...


This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a
job application.

* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus
you should save her first;
* or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and
this would be the perfect chance to pay him back.
* However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble
coming up with his answer.



He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let
him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the
bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.

Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

Share |

Fastest thing - interview

Share |

Four guys, from Harvard, Yale, MIT and SANTA SINGH from Punjab
University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job. One common
Question was asked to all 4 of them.


YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light

HARVARD Guy : It's the Thought; b'cos thought is so fast it comes instantly in
Your mind.

MIT guy : Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked

SANTA SINGH : Its Loose motion

INTERVIEWER : (Shocked to hear Santa's reply, asked) "WHY"?

SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the
Worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON
THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!

Share |

Long Hair

Share |

A young boy had just gotten his driver*s permit and inquired of his
father, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, "I*ll
make a deal with you.
You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a
little, get your hair cut and we*ll talk about the car."
Well, the boy thought about that for a moment, and settled for the
offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks they went in to the study, where his father said,
"Son, I*ve been real proud. You*ve brought your grades up, and I*ve
observed that you
have been studying your Bible, and participating a lot more in the Bible
study groups. But, I*m real disappointed, since you haven*t gotten your
hair cut."
The young man paused a moment, and then said, "You know, Dad, I*ve been
thinking about that, and I*ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that
Samson had
long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair and
there*s even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair also."
To this his father replied, "Did you also notice they all walked
everywhere they went?"

Share |

Wednesday, July 4, 2007


Share |

How amazing!! - A mother makes her son "INTELLIGENT" in 20 years, but
a girl makes him "STUPID" in 2 mins.

Second Best:

Arguing with a girl is like wrestling with a pig in the mud. After
some time, u realize that u r getting dirty, but the pig is actually

Third Best SMS:

Boys go to college to develop the mind; girls go to college to catch
them before this happens.

Share |

No Great Loss

Share |

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy."

"No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."

A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside...that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."

The room is silent; none of the other children dare volunteer.

"What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton was blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy."

"Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!

Share |

Monday, July 2, 2007

Job Performance

Share |

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it
over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the
buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits. The store-owner
observed and listened to the conversation: The boy asked," Lady, Can you
give me the job of cutting your lawn? The woman replied, "I already have
someone to cut my lawn." Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of
the person who cuts your lawn now." replied boy. The woman responded that
she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.
The little boy found more perseverance and offered," Lady, I'll even sweep
your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn
in all of North Palm beach, Florida." Again the woman answered in the
negative. With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.

The store-owner, who was listening to all, this, walked over to the boy and
said," Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and, would
like to offer you a job." The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just
checking my performance with the job I already have. I am the one who is
working for that lady, I was talking to!"

Share |

How to keep Wonam / Man Happy ?

Share |

How to Keep a Woman Happy?

It's not difficult.

All you have to do is to be:

1.A friend

2.A companion

3.A lover

4.A brother

5.A father

6.A master

7.A chef

8.An electrician

9.A carpenter

10.A plumber

11.A mechanic

12.A decorator

13.A stylist

15.A gynecologist

16.A psychologist

17.A pest exterminator

18.A psychiatrist

19.A healer

20.A good listener

21.An organizer

22.A good father

23.Very clean






















44.Give her compliments regularly

45.Love shopping

46.Be honest

47.Be very rich

48.Not stress her out

49.Not look at other girls


50.Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself

51.Give her lots of time, especially time for herself

52.Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes


53.Never to forget:

* Birthdays

* Anniversaries

* Arrangements she makes


1. Leave him in peace, NO Nagging (very, very, very important).

2. Feed him well.

3. Let him have the remote control.

Share |