Friday, August 28, 2009

What the woman want ?

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WARNING: only guys should read following or Ladies with good sense of humor can read ahead...

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
- Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
- Anonymous

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"
- Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
- Sigmund Freud

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
- Anonymous

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
- Sam Kinison

'I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
- James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
- Nash

You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to.
- Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
- Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
- Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
- Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
- Anonymous


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Wednesday, August 12, 2009

If India has Multi Purpose ID Card Number - ADHAR CARD ?

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Nandan Nilekani at his best- UID card

This is real cool. When we all have the UID card this could be one such
conversation. .

Operator "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."
Customer: "Hello, can I order.." Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose
ID card number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's he...,
hold........ ...on.... ..88986135610204 9998-45-54610"

Operator : "OK... You're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jal Vayu.
Your home number is 22678893,your office 25076666 and your mobile is
09869798888. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure
and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Dishes" from the National
Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much
will that cost?"
Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 05, Sir. The total is
Rs 500.00"

Customer: "Can I pay by! Credit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash,
Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 23,000.75
since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on
your housing loan, Sir.."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some
cash before your guy arrives" Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the
records,you' ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How
long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can
always come and collect it on your Nano Car..."

Customer: " What!"
Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a Nano
car,...registration number GZ-05-AB-1107. ."

Customer: " ????"
Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing... By the way... Aren't you giving me that 3
free bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also
diabetic.... ...

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%
Operator : "Better watch your language Sir.. Remember on 15th July 2010 you
were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman... ?"

Customer: [Faints]

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