Saturday, December 20, 2008
Want To Tell One Thing - New Year 2009 SMS
Fully Faltu jokes
Sardar : (To a friend) Aap kitna padhe ho?
Friend : B.A.
Sardar : kamal karte ho yaar! Sirf do word padhe, aur woh bhi ulte...
A cop stops a drunk man and asks: Where you going?
He replies : "I'm going to listen the lecture about the harm of the
drunkenness and alcoholism."
Cop says : "At night? And who will give a lecture?"
My wife and mother-in-law! replies the drunk man.
What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?
?
?
Wow! New Underwear.
Angry Pagal : Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga, mita dunga, mita dunga.
Dusra Pagal standing besides said "mein tujhe rubber nahi dunga".
A Sardar went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C.
After seeing the form he had gone to Delhi for filling it up.
You know why?
Form said: "Fill Up In Capital".
Sardar had twins. He named them Tin and Martin.
Again had twins and named them Peter and Repeater.
Again twins and named them Max and Climax.
Again the same. Disgusted Sardar named them Tired & Retired.
Sign on a railway station at Patna: Aana free, jaana free, Pakde gaye to khana free. Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay: Don't whistle at the girl going out from here.She may be your grandmother! Seen on a bulletin board: Success is relative. More the success, more the relatives. Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay: We need your heads to run our business. A traffic slogan: Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough or else they never will be. THE BEST ONE: Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god. - Indian Armed Forces
Girl- Today i was cooking chicken, when i added HARA DHANIYA, guess
what happened?
Boy- Pata nahi, tum batao
Girl- Chicken start dancing and singing
"HUM PE YE KISNE HARA RANG DAALA...MAAR DAALA-ALLAAHHHH..."
Maths teacher asks a boy what are 2,4,12,20. - - - - - The boy replies they are HBO, ZOOM, SONY and POGO.
TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!
Fully Faltoo Jokes - PJ
Can u pronounce good english:-
Read along woof, roof, loof, shoof, shoof,woof, loof, roof, poof, woof
woof, hoof, woof, roof, shoof.
Test results: U r a good dog. Now stop barking.
A Sardar saw a beautiful girl...
He went and kissed her....
Girl said- "What R U doing...?"
Sardar replied- " B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigarh"
jab dekha unhone humein tirshi nazroan se to hum madhosh ho gaye
jab pata chala ki nazar hi tehdi hai to hum behosh ho gaye.
king like monkey,
bee like honey
but i like u ...
dont get excited
i like monkey too
MAN : how old is ur father ?
BOY : as old as me
MAN : how can that be ?
BOY : he became a father only when i was born
TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
Jija Sali
Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Never Drink Water
I mixed RUM in water and got drunk.
I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk.
I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again.
Now I have decided never to drink water again !!!
Hathoda
Teen Dost the Kallu, Billu aur Ulloo.
Kallu 7 th mein padh raha hai.
Billu 5th mein padh raha hai.
Ulloo hathoda padh raha hai.
Latest PJ Continues
If engineers start making films, the names will be:-
current ho na ho,
jaanam supplykaro,
aa ab B.Tech karen,
Kabhi A.C. Kabhi D.C,
Hamari IC apke pas hai,
fuse lagaya to darna kya,
engineer no.1,
engineering koi khel nahi,
input wale output le jayenge,
Maine engineering kyu kiya..!!
Que. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
Ans. The bonds mature.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to
go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign
on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!".
After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his
beer saying, "So did I!"
How can you drop and egg five feet without it breaking?
By dropping it six feet - it won't break for the first five.
How many books can you put on an empty shelf?
One. After that it isn't empty.
Que. What do you call Santa's helpers?
Ans. Subordinate Clauses.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket
match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Que. Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
Ans. Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept....... .
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
GIRL to sardar: Oye tum ney apne 2 daant Q blue kiye hai?
SARDAR: Yar mea ne INK lagahi hai.
GIRL: Q?
SARDAR: Oye tusi nie pata aaj kal bluetooth kitna mashoor hai.
SMS Jokes
A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married.
Guess what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.
Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.
Banta: Are tension mat le, Jeher bharwane aya hoga...
Banta k ghar ladka hua, par wo phir bhi dukhi tha?? Kyon?
Itne saalo baad, itni manato k baad ladka hua wo bhi chhota sa...!
Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Comepalakrishnan.
Arz Kia Hai.
Insaan Insaan Ko Das Raha Hy
Wah Wah
Insaan Insaan Ko Das Raha Hy
Wah Wah
Aur Saanp Side Main Beth K Hans Raha Hai
Teacher 2 pappu:
wht is ur Father Name?
Pappu: GOOGLE SHARMA
Teacher ye kaisa name?
Pappu sir vo hamehsa mujhe dhontdhe rhate hai isliye.!!
Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya, gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Banta:-Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo. Driver: Sir ji, petrol
AASHIQ BANAYA AAPNE
Three cockroaches were going on the road, suddenly one of them started
singing the song - "AASHIQ BANAYA AAPNE".
Few mins later, all the three cockroaches died......
any idea why?????
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.
.
.
.
.
COZ the song is HIT ......
Israeli, German, Russian, American Doctors
An Israeli doctor says 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we
can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him
looking for work in six weeks.'
A German doctor says 'That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one
person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.
A Russian doctor says 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we
can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have
them bothlooking for work in two weeks.'
An American Texas doctor, not to be outdone, says 'You guys are way
behind,we recently took a man with no brains out of Texas , put him
in the White House for eight years, and now half the country is
looking for work.'
SMS Jokes Collection
Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Comepalakrishnan.
Arz Kia Hai.
Insaan Insaan Ko Das Raha Hy
Wah Wah
Insaan Insaan Ko Das Raha Hy
Wah Wah
Aur Saanp Side Main Beth K Hans Raha Hai
Teacher 2 pappu:
wht is ur Father Name?
Pappu: GOOGLE SHARMA
Teacher ye kaisa name?
Pappu sir vo hamehsa mujhe dhontdhe rhate hai isliye.!!
A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married.
Guess what they named them.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Jo Hua, So Hua.
Prime Minister: We are sending Indians to the moon next year! US President:
Wow! How many?
Prime Minister:
7 OBC,
5 SC,
8 ST,
3 Handicapped,
2 Sports Persons,
3 Terrorist Affected,
3 Kashmiri Migrants,
2 MPs &
1 Astronaut
Collection of funny urdu SMS Jokes
- A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house... still he was in jail.......why? coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !
- Suraj bana tu badal banay,chand bana tu taray banay,husn bana tu deewanay banay.kuch tu hai baat aap mai.yun hee tu nahi pagal khanay banay...:D
- Boy: Jaaneman, is dil mein aaja! Girl: Sandal utaaroon kya? Boy: Aray pagli, yeh koi mosque thodi hai, aise hi aaja!
- Roshni dayker doob jana koi suraj se seekhey.. Dil dai ker dard lena ki humse seekhey.. kuch na deyker Dil lena koi unsey seekhey.. SMS leker REPLY na kerna koi Aapsey seekhey
- Kiya ap kay sir per seengh hain?no r u sure?plz check again.no ,ok no problem waqie Gadhay kay sur per seengh nahi hotay
- aik bandar ka bacha apni maan say: maa main itna badsurat kyon hoon maa beta khuda ka shukar karo usay dheko jo message pardh raha hai
- Bhul se kabhi hame bhi yaad kiya karo, Pyar nahi to shikayat kiya karo, itna bhi gair na samjho k baat hi na kiya karo, phone nahi to sms hi kiya karo
- Hum dono main cute kon smart kon dashing kon sweet kon handsome kon yeh sab tum tow hoo nahe saktay tow bachaa kon...
- Wafa Main Ab Ye Hunar Ikhtiar Karna Hai,
Woh Sach Kahe Na Kahe Aitebar Karna Hai.
Yeh TujhKo Jagte Rehne Ka Shauk KabSe Hua,
Mujhe To Khair Tera Intezaar Krna Hai.
Khwabon main ayenge SMS ki tarah.
Dil main bas jayenge ring tone ki tarah, - jam kerwa hai magar itna nahi k pia na jaye,
zindagi main dard hai magar itna nahi k jia na jaye,
sms kerny per paisay lagtay hain magar itney nahi kay kia na jaye;)
